These days there is a lot of negative connotation around the premise of growing up without a parental father figure but I wanted to shed some light on the truths, pains and learnings my life has produced.
Lots of pressure (young black male to succeed in the family — be it openly said, society OR all yourself)
You are the bread winner. You have to succeed. You have to be better than your circumstances, better than your history, better than your father.
You decide your road
Probably one of my favourite? There is no pre-destined route to what you deem as success, your future is literally what you make it to be as a man.
You’re not restricted by your genetics and what is possible, you can choose your mentors.
You will fall and a fail many many a time with women
This goes without saying…you have zero experience with women bar being born from one and the only thing you can emulate are hollywood films which are horrendously bad. Have fun.
No one to really base your career against you can aim so high
The sky is the limit. The realms of possibility are what you deem them to be. You are not chained to the legacy of one man. You become your own man.
A woman can raise a fine man
I think Abraham Lincoln said it best?
“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”
No bias of course to my own mother and her plentiful sisters.
Best teacher is and will always be failure
And by far my favourite. You will fall. It will be hard. You will make mistakes your peers won’t make. You will be sensitive to things that others are not. You won’t understand father’s day. You may even come to a stage where you harbour negative emotions to your situation. Just remember the hardest battles are always given to the strongest soldiers.
Failure is Framed As Intended Learning.
So go out there. Live. Love. Learn. Take strength from all your situations they not only build you but ultimately you are the one that defines you.
