What It Means To Be A Man
This era where men are being attacked for the misgivings of men from past, learned behaviour and traits intrenched in society.
This era of veiled misandry.
This era when little boys are conditioned and targeted.
This era of truly evil brothers leading men astray with fake manhood and principles that they themselves do not abide by.
What does it mean to be a man to me in this world with no figures to follow and held accountable for everything any man is doing at any point in time?
It is invisible.
A false standard I realised that is just a projection of the insecurities of others.
Why must I care of the faults of dead men?
Why must I be tried for the inability of living men?
This weight is not mine to bear but it was one thrust upon me as I did not have a father figure to shield me from it all. Nothing my mother nor anyone could have known. A silent killer. An assassin.
After fighting my assailant and coming to terms with my own existence there were some statements and principles that have been carved in to me.
Be a man for yourself, not for women.
Throughout my youth, the media, friends even uncles and aunts would always tell me ‘don’t do this because you won’t get a girlfriend’.
‘Don’t play games, go outside and meet people’, ‘lift weights to get chicks’.
Crazy. Instead of pursuing ME a lot of us get caught up in WE.
Reacting emotionally is not the route to progress.
Losing your mental faculties is one thing, knowingly lashing out with an emotional response and expecting some type of progress is as close to insanity as repeating actions that are not working. Allowing logic to be your first guiding piece and then choosing to use your emotions when necessary is the hallmark of a man to me.
Move in silence. Not everyday people have to know your moves.
Social media exasperates this. Everyone wants validation. Buying this. Buying that. Taking this. Apart of this crowd. Inclusion inclusion inclusion. The only time people will know my moves is if I am trying to bring them to where I am at. We all have our own journeys. Everyone does not need to be my co-driver.
Your actions and words must align.
Principles. Principles. Principles. If I say am said type of person and stand for this type of thing? I must follow through. Sure there is space for change, evolution we are human but when your actions do not even remotely come close to what you preach? Stop it.
True integrity is the ability to disagree and co-exist.
If this past 2 years have shown you ANYTHING it is a vast amount of people do not have true compassion nor integrity. Disagreeing with me on one area should not paint the entire canvas red or black. I fundamentally do not share the same viewpoints on many things with close friends, this does not impact our friendship. The ability to allow other ideas beside your own to exist without force or coercion of malice is true manhood.
If you don’t even do this? You are only a yes man who does not embrace conflict or even have the mental capacity to seek resolution.
To better yourself, your situation and the community around you.
Why does it matter if I have all of this money, all of this power if the people around me suffer. You first start with self. You are no good to anyone if physically and mentally you are not in tune with your purpose. Then your situation. Your immediate family, people close to you. Your home and very environment. Then your community. Like minded people such as you on a wider scale. This is an obligation. A man who does nothing for himself first, his family and his community is not a man. That is a child.
It is scary to love. Even scarier to be loved.
We might live in this age of speed dating, apps and the like and being cohabited is as interchangeable as a shirt. To love is as scary as ever. To give your being to someone. That they accept every part of you. Your ups. Your downs. Your highs. Your lows. All of that to replace you with the next best thing with a swipe, that can be scary….allowing yourself to be happy even more so. Deserving it. Deserving the praise. Just because your parents did not work does not mean it will not for you. I will not kid you all I am still learning this myself as a man but I will tell you it is ok. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy.
Life is not a simple journey for you.
You will be challenged, it will not be easy.
You will be wrong. A lot.
You will fall. A lot.
It will be painful.
However I promise you if you persevere and you are principled you will succeed in ways you are no even yet aware of.